Change and blessings

Fall is my absolute favorite time of the year. It’s the very beginning of Fall, when the leaves just start turning colors, it gets slightly cooler, and you can literally smell the sense of change in the air. It’s like there’s more electricity in the air, and it’s exciting but soothing at the same time. Like you know things are changing and you are changing with it, but that all will be taken care of.

Having done lots of job “exploration” over the summer months, I’ve had to face once again the ever changing nature of my interest and pursuits. I’m an “ideas” person. I have lots of ideas and interests. Dedicating myself to really pursuing them is another matter. I’d really rather be free to explore different things without being tied down to any one thing.

Of course freelance web design was what I originally had intended to pursue when quitting my full time job. Housecleaning was something I seriously considered doing for a while this summer. Merchandising was another job I filed out several applications for and was very interested in doing. I also considered selling home made all natural sunscreen, deodorant, perfume, toothpaste, etc. at the local farmers market. And now my latest job interest is transcription.

These thoughts all stemmed from reflecting on my post about the dream life of writing travel guide websites. I used to read things like this I’d written and feel ashamed for not having followed though, or not even maintaining the enthusiasm or motivation. I’d feel like a flake. But, I’ve learned to recognize and even accept the qualities of myself for what they are: qualities. And they are good because they make me who I am.

This summer I’ve also been practicing writing, letting myself out a little bit more through that venue of expression. I’m exploring poetry.┬áI’ve put my camera to use again. I’m giving more time and credit to the creative, exploratory, and seemingly┬áinefficacious part of me.

Truth be told, I’m just so happy to be able to rest in the fact that I am made purposefully, and for good purpose. While I have felt more and more anxious as my savings have steadily decreased, I’ve also trusted that the One who made me purposefully and for good purpose also will provide for me just what I need.

He hasn’t provided me with a job yet, however He just today blessed me with a trip to visit family in Arizona for a week or two. And I cannot describe how much this particular treat means to me at this particular moment in time. It is such a gift. Had I been scrambling for security by my own hand and wrestled for myself a job, then I definitely wouldn’t be able to accept this gift. I can’t wait to see how else He is going to bless me and provide for me.

And I really just can’t get over the fact that He loves me for who I am, where I am, productive or not. And He’s constantly taking care of me.

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